Focus

Last Saturday, aku lebih kelihatan spt 'kucing kehilangan anak'. Tak boleh duduk diam, asyik wondering je kerja aku. Coz it is almost a month. T_T. Ntah mengapa tiba2 aku rindukan dia, yg teramat sangat sampai sesak nafas aku dibuatnyer. huh~ 'jahatnya kamu'~

After a while of crying and etc2, aku try to get back to my senses that there is more other important stuff that I need to focus on in my life. I can't be miserable like this, I need to keep my feet on the ground back! ASAP!!! Without no delays. I need to be more realistic, well its hard to me coz since i'm a emotional person. (tak suka part nie) yeah, i need to admit that I'm so EMO. huhuhu..

Another thing is, I want to be more relax and chill a little bit. I tend take thing seriously even before it should be serious. After this I guess I can never take man seriously. No way hozey! :D Tak mau banana berbuah 2 kali. Tak mau3x!!

I will focus my energy to my family and my career as well as my environment. Insyallah, I will do my best. Nuraini Hwaiting!

Laugh

Tergelak sendirian bila tertengok blog org.. Takde niat nak memperkecilkan sesiapa yang hidup or yg dah takde kat dunia yang fana ini. Sekadar utk reminder kepada diri sendiri.

Tadi, tgk blog org lain, people that is younger than me. Bila tgk isi kandungan blog dia teringat time aku muda2 dulu.. kiranya once upon a time..bila dimana kita suke kat someone, someone..then citer kat kawan2.

Basically life revolves around our friends. Peer pressure is definitely great. Abang angkat, kakak angkat, adik angkat dan etc2... Kelakar la.

The adolescent times is all about your looks and your grades. Org judge kita based on that. Aku boleh diconsiderkan to that someone that doesn't have that much of good looks. Badan gemuk, muka berminyak, plus dgn pimples.. Arghhh!! During that time, aku selalu merungut sbb takde org yg suka aku, kenapa org lain lebih cantik, lebih pandai, lebih kurus dan etc2. It was like shit you know. Serious aku benci dgn situation gitu.

I believe up until these days, that is still my biases. Bila tgk gurls yg cantik2, aku probably akan assume kat sekolah mesti dorg budget cantik n gedix giler. heheheh... mmg bias tol. Tapi aku lagi benci to those people, dah la buruk, hati busuk...haish... tu mmg dah tak boleh dapat diselamatkan lagi la.

Aku sngt2 bersyukur yang aku dh lepas that phase of lifetime. Because, if kita tak dapat ikut path yang sepatutnya kita lalui, maybe akn terbabas..dan probably akn menyesal dikemudian hari.

Even though now I'm 23 years old (well, basically 22 and 3 months++) tapi cabaran is still there. Mmg tak boleh lari dari cabaran. It's getting serious utk menjaga sanity as well as our purity (especially gurls). Sigh~ (mengeluh lagi..) *tak baik mengeluh2 nie...tak berkat nnt.. huhuhu..

Whatever it is, i'm just saying what I felt. This probably a piece of crap aku letakkan kat dalam blog. Bkn apa, since I lost my friends in one of the social network passion aku tuk menulis dalam blog mmg termati terus. It just gone. Coz it hurt so much. So I'm taking a baby step now to start all over again, to search for my passion to write.

Things Makes Me Happy

Bila hati ini tidak mahu ingat perkara2 yang bisa membinasakan diri, sy sngt bersyukur kerana masih ada keluarga yang sngt menyokong sy dan mampu membahagiakan sy disaat sy memerlukan. Alhamdulillah, sy bersyukur sngt. ^^,

After penat bershopping sakan seharian (dan menjadi driver yg legal) pada hari ini, mulalah buat perkara2 yg tak pernah dibuat sblm ini..hehehehe..

Thanks to my dear lil sis that makes me smile again... Not forgetting my mom, my dad and my little brother for supporting me through this.. love you all....100x love...

Closure

Last night at around 9.30 pm he finally texted me after several times I called him saying that I'm not satisfied with our current situation. He told me that he only thinks about his career for the time being and not ready to think about other thing. He wishes me all the best for my study. He said he want to take a break for a time being until I work in near future.

However, for me it is finished already. No more second time. Tidak mahu pisang berbuah 2 kali. Enough my lesson with Shah before this. I really looking forward to moving on. Just like what I did with mr.Beautiful You. I might cried several times, but maybe it is my thereputic ways to heal myself. I do love him and always will be.

I will forgive him sometimes in the future but not now. Not yet. This is just one of my life lesson. I do BELIEVE that Allah s.w.t have something better for me. There is always a silver light on every gray cloud...I will learn to appreciate things more...Insyaallah..