HEALED

Based dari tajuk entry pada hari ini (hehehe...) sy dengan ini ingin mengumumkan yg sy sudah sembuh!!! Yeay! from the past heart broken. I took me some time to get over him, but I knew eventually I'll let go. He's got a new girl, good for him. I don't want to hold any grudge against him. At least now I am able to smile again. I get the understanding of happiness is depend on myself. We can't let other people determine whether we can be happy or not..

And now I'm dealing with another crucial issue in my life which is my career. But this time being I was still searching for job. I have sent my resume to several companies and hoping that I can get the call for interview. So far I had attend 2 interviews. Both went well. But I let both position passed. Ntahlah, ada sahaja yg tak kenanya.. Mungkin bukan rezeki aku disana kowt. Selain dari itu, I learned that I cannot be to choosey utk bekerja ni.

This upcoming monday, aku ada interview kat Jalan Raja Chulan, KL. Utk position HR kat kilang recron di nilai ni. I was really hoping that I can get job nearby my parents home coz I need to take care of my parents and my siblings. Its my responsibilities to look over them. That's why aku carik kerja dekat2 je. Selain dari tu, aku sangat pissed off bila org pandang rendah towards graduan yg masih lagi menganggur (spt aku nie). Just so you know, bukan aku tak berusaha utk carik kerja I DID okey!! Pastu if nak cari kerja part time, org yg ada kedai2 biasa pun taknak pekerja yg kerja 1-2 bulan je. Dorg nak yg permanent. I have tried them all, tapi tak dapat. DAH TRY OKEY!!

But in the end, it is all about usaha dan rezeki you know. Kdg2 tgk org lain senang je dapat kerja, tapi kita tak boleh nak rasa iri hati or dengki towards them coz Allah dah tentukan rezeki mereka. Same goes with us, yg paling penting is USAHA, DOA & TAWAKAL, insyallah mesti ada jalannya nnt...

DISSAPOINTED

Beberapa hari yg lalu, aku agak happy dengan kehadiran seorang hamba Allah yang aku fikirkan sbg kawan, walaubagaimanapun semalam dia benar2 mengecewakan diri ini. Aku pasrah, thank God aku tidak menyerahkan hati kecil ini kepadanya. Kalau diserahkan juga, mungkin aku akan mengalami kekecewaan yang kedua besar sekian kalinya.

Cukuplah yg aku dah hadapi with mr.rr sblm. Tak mahu pisang berbuah dua kali. Walaupun aku mula menyukai dia, namun Allah Maha Kaya, dia telah menunjukkan aku jalan yang lurus sblm aku terjebak dalam kancah percintaan yang palsu sekali lagi.

Alhamdulillah.

STUPID

Almost everyday I cried because of him. I know, it is stupid things to do when you already done with the other person. Now, I just knew that he's into other girl.. DAMN! So easy for him to get moving on while I'm here still struggling...

I don't want to hate him or whatsoever, coz he's the person that I've once loved. Tak tergamak utk membenci. I couldn't.. T____T. But I knew that he torn my heart really2 bad. I mean, really2 bad.. I was pretty much empty the moment he left. EMPTY.

But the other unexpected things showing up. Abang Firdaus is coming back into my life. He's also having the same situation like me. But he might take it to the highest level, by changing his phone number. Fortunately, he contacting me back. Last night we talked almost 2 hours. He make me smile again. It kindda lessen my pain for a while.

Right now we are friends again me and abg daus after a while didn't contact one another..

I love you..

I truly am. Can't put my eyes to sleep because I've been thinking about you sweetie. I love you but I could not tolerate anymore. Negligence, abandonment, ignorance, its just too much for me. I wish I can be a better person for you, less nagging. I hate when I do that to you and don't want to do things that you hate.

Therefore, we need to stop this. I love you darling. But we need to stop, before we hurt each other. I really hoped that you can read this. T______T It hurts me that we end like this...

Happy Birthday MOm~

Selamat Hari Lahir Mak~

Semalam 5th July is my mom's birthday yang ke 45 tahun. Along ucapkan semoga emak sihat sentiasa dan dirahmati oleh Allah s.w.t sentiasa hendaknya. Amin.....I love you so much mak~ ^^,

Confuse

Smlm is kind of a shock for me. A nice surprise actually. He asked me for in relationship back with him. I was like 'huh?' really? With me? Again? It was out of sudden. It completely blown me away, since that is the thing that I really want to hear most from him for the past 3 months.

I was craving for him, and now he want me back with him. Truthfully, I was of course happy knowing that he still misses me and care for me. But the pain and the scars that he left me with previously. I don't know whether I can accept him back. At least not that easily I guess.

I asked him to give me some time. He told me not to take so much time to think about it. Huhuhu.. T__T Don't know what to do, how to react. Can I stay with him without relationship, but only care for him? Coz in Islam, coupling is HARAM! Well, I really need time to think about it how to tell him this.

Because my sister also not in relationship anymore because of the coupling issue. I really2 respect my sister very much and I really look up on her.. She's one of the good example that I should follow...

Port Dickson..

Baru2 ni my family and Cik Bib's family pergi ke PD. Time cuti sekolah baru2 nie. Omg~ traffic is like crazy!!! I just can't stand sitting inside the car for almost 4 hours to get from Nilai to PD. It was no fun at all.. Nway, it is better off to shut my mouth before anyone else gets annoyed. hehehehe.. (bringing the bad influence I guess) No good at all.

Bila dah sampai sana, kami pun bergambar la. Aku selaku photographer. Fuh, after this kalu gi PD lagi no way aku nak pakai contact lens lagi. Boleh blah.. :P

So among the pictures that I managed to capture.. ^^,

Sesudah sampai~

Lepas dah mandi~

Me and wani (sepupu)

Ikin and Ika (sepupu juga)

Mak dan cik bib~

Ayah dan pakcik Nurin

Haziq dan Hafiz~

Well, it was fun. Tapi aku bantai tido je sepanjang hari kat PD tu..Muahahahaha...tak kire. Sedap kowt dgn angin sepoi2 bahasa tido bawah pokok yg rendah.. perhhhh... Lagi satu sebab is menjaga kulit dari kena sun burn. I swear, I don't want any sun burn on my skin. History taught me well kay....huhuhu. Tak mahu pisang berbuah 2 kali..

Kursus 3P at Uitm Shah Alam

Well, the truth is I almost giving it up at first. Since the college is not so good. It was suck! Compared to Puncak Alam, but well fate had its own plan~ since sblm ni mmg aku pernah bercita2 nak jadik student kat UiTM Shah Alam, and now my dreams had been fulfilled..Thank you Allah~ ^^,

Nway, seronok juga attend kursus ni. Other than the certificate, it gave me the opportunity to spend one last time with my dearly friends... :D I just so grateful of all these things.

The pics below were pic of my group and I alongside with our trainer from Filipina.. Mr. Dennis. We are having a BLAST! Seronok giler. So this is the last day where we get to be the 2nd winner for the quiz and we got the 2nd biggest chocolate from him. Thanks Dennis! [^.^]

Me with my group member...stress, tapi seronok bila dah last2! ^^,

hehe~ Sempat lagi bergambar...

So far, certificate Project Management je baru sampai, now tinggal tunggu sijil ITIL pula...heheh. Nway, it was a blast!

Keychain.

The key chain that I gave him.

When I saw his profile pic with this picture, i was totally stunned. I am speechless~ but again, I am happy when I saw this. It shows that he still thinking of me. It is good since I always thinking of him too~ ^^, I'm just so happy at this point of time....

Finally Habis

Sungguh tak disangka akhirnya habis juga Program Pentauliahan Professional di UiTM Shah Alam baru-baru ini. Ingatkan boleh jalani program ni like a piece of cake, tapi it takes a lot of effort juga utk pass it successfully. I get a lot from this program. It taught me a lot of things. Especially ITIL coz it is a whole new thing for me. My curiosity really worth it coz at first I almost didn't make it because of the boring Softskill classes. Mr. Kenneth doesn't did good job with the class. I really2 disappointed.

Other than that I've got the opportunity to get back together with my ex-classmate from diploma days Adah, Elly and Fieza. I really grateful for having them in my life. They made me laugh so hard and we have a very good time a lot! Alhamdulillah. Also not forgetting to Sha for helping me a lot in ITIL. Every night for 1 week time we do the revision together. I'm thankful that she's willing to help me out. It's very touching my feeling la.. T__T sob, sob~

Oh ya, I just found out that my prediction before this is true. It is true that this 'person' didn't welcomed my presence even tough that I really need help at that point of time. I'm very disappointed with this person coz I thought this person was my friend. So much of a friend huh~ Takpelah, takde kawan mcm dia pun aku tak ralat la. Its okey, that day were my days, satu hari nnt sape tahu?

Now I'm an ex-student of UiTM. Yah~ dah ada title baru lagi... ^^, HOpe for the future to shine, insyallah~ Good luck to all of my friends too...Chaiyok2! Love you guys..

Change Management

Muahahahah~ (nak gelak sepuas2 hati....) padan muka change management tadi! dah aku balon cukup! Ntah apa yang aku carutkan pown tak taulah. Just aplikasi dari apa yang aku ingat time dalam kelas Ms.Nudra. Harap2 spelling nama dia betullah tadi. Jap lagi, salah nama tak pasal2 potong markah.. Adush!

Mmg gamble la aku, pilih 4 chapter je kowt out of 9 chapter..Ha hambik ko! Pagi tadi bangun kul 5 pagi, tapi dapat stay 15 minit je dok kat hall dpn rumah nie. Pastu masuk balik bilik.. (takut beb!) seram lak dok sowang2 kat luar tuh. Tapi kat dalam bilik dah mcm sauna dah aku rasa pagi tadi. Mmg tak berapa convenient la nak tido.

Namun, pembacaan tetap diteruskan. (Ntah apa yang aku baca pown tak ingat.. :P) Baca mmg baca, tapi bukan ingat pown. Apa2pown aku tetap usaha utk ingatkan dan fahamkan. That's the least I can do.

Bila dah last sem ni, mcm2 kes berat pula yang terjadi.. Hmmm, aku tak tau lah nak ckp mcm mana sbb ini melibatkan value dan integrity seseorg individu tersebut. Maybe ni hukuman dari Allah, nak tunjuk betapa tinggi or rendahnya langit itu... Apa2 pun harap kepada kawan2 yg lain, jalanlah terjejas kerana mereka2 ni..teruskan perjuangan hingga ke titisan dakwat pen yang terakhir. Akhir kata, majulah diri untuk masa depan. Hwaiting!

Selamat Hari Ibu

Disini dan disaat ini, ingin saya mengucapkan Selamat Hari Ibu kepada mak saya Pn. Fatimah bt. Rasol kerana menjadi mak yang sangat sporting dan caring terhadap anak2nya....

Saya rasa bertuah kerana ada mak sptnya~ Dilahirkan dan dibesarkan olehnya... (mata dah mula berair... ) Terima Kasih emak, jasamu tak akan dapat mampu ku balas hingga ke akhir hayat....

From you daughter,
Nuraini Jasni

p/s: Dah tanya mak, "Nak along buat kad tak sempena hari ibu?" Jawab mak aku "Tak payah nak membazir~". LOL hehehehe... Takpe mak, nnt along balik, kita gi makan A&W ea~ Ikin belanja~ muahahahahahaha...

Research

Dah hari2 last nak exam ni group sibuk menyiapkan research paper. Fuh~ dahlah SAD tak bacer lagi... I'm so worried

Wat kerja kat Mcd...panas gak ler..hehehe. Baru saya perasan yg saya dah agak chubby...hua!!!! tak nak chubby lagi~

Focus

Last Saturday, aku lebih kelihatan spt 'kucing kehilangan anak'. Tak boleh duduk diam, asyik wondering je kerja aku. Coz it is almost a month. T_T. Ntah mengapa tiba2 aku rindukan dia, yg teramat sangat sampai sesak nafas aku dibuatnyer. huh~ 'jahatnya kamu'~

After a while of crying and etc2, aku try to get back to my senses that there is more other important stuff that I need to focus on in my life. I can't be miserable like this, I need to keep my feet on the ground back! ASAP!!! Without no delays. I need to be more realistic, well its hard to me coz since i'm a emotional person. (tak suka part nie) yeah, i need to admit that I'm so EMO. huhuhu..

Another thing is, I want to be more relax and chill a little bit. I tend take thing seriously even before it should be serious. After this I guess I can never take man seriously. No way hozey! :D Tak mau banana berbuah 2 kali. Tak mau3x!!

I will focus my energy to my family and my career as well as my environment. Insyallah, I will do my best. Nuraini Hwaiting!

Laugh

Tergelak sendirian bila tertengok blog org.. Takde niat nak memperkecilkan sesiapa yang hidup or yg dah takde kat dunia yang fana ini. Sekadar utk reminder kepada diri sendiri.

Tadi, tgk blog org lain, people that is younger than me. Bila tgk isi kandungan blog dia teringat time aku muda2 dulu.. kiranya once upon a time..bila dimana kita suke kat someone, someone..then citer kat kawan2.

Basically life revolves around our friends. Peer pressure is definitely great. Abang angkat, kakak angkat, adik angkat dan etc2... Kelakar la.

The adolescent times is all about your looks and your grades. Org judge kita based on that. Aku boleh diconsiderkan to that someone that doesn't have that much of good looks. Badan gemuk, muka berminyak, plus dgn pimples.. Arghhh!! During that time, aku selalu merungut sbb takde org yg suka aku, kenapa org lain lebih cantik, lebih pandai, lebih kurus dan etc2. It was like shit you know. Serious aku benci dgn situation gitu.

I believe up until these days, that is still my biases. Bila tgk gurls yg cantik2, aku probably akan assume kat sekolah mesti dorg budget cantik n gedix giler. heheheh... mmg bias tol. Tapi aku lagi benci to those people, dah la buruk, hati busuk...haish... tu mmg dah tak boleh dapat diselamatkan lagi la.

Aku sngt2 bersyukur yang aku dh lepas that phase of lifetime. Because, if kita tak dapat ikut path yang sepatutnya kita lalui, maybe akn terbabas..dan probably akn menyesal dikemudian hari.

Even though now I'm 23 years old (well, basically 22 and 3 months++) tapi cabaran is still there. Mmg tak boleh lari dari cabaran. It's getting serious utk menjaga sanity as well as our purity (especially gurls). Sigh~ (mengeluh lagi..) *tak baik mengeluh2 nie...tak berkat nnt.. huhuhu..

Whatever it is, i'm just saying what I felt. This probably a piece of crap aku letakkan kat dalam blog. Bkn apa, since I lost my friends in one of the social network passion aku tuk menulis dalam blog mmg termati terus. It just gone. Coz it hurt so much. So I'm taking a baby step now to start all over again, to search for my passion to write.

Things Makes Me Happy

Bila hati ini tidak mahu ingat perkara2 yang bisa membinasakan diri, sy sngt bersyukur kerana masih ada keluarga yang sngt menyokong sy dan mampu membahagiakan sy disaat sy memerlukan. Alhamdulillah, sy bersyukur sngt. ^^,

After penat bershopping sakan seharian (dan menjadi driver yg legal) pada hari ini, mulalah buat perkara2 yg tak pernah dibuat sblm ini..hehehehe..

Thanks to my dear lil sis that makes me smile again... Not forgetting my mom, my dad and my little brother for supporting me through this.. love you all....100x love...

Closure

Last night at around 9.30 pm he finally texted me after several times I called him saying that I'm not satisfied with our current situation. He told me that he only thinks about his career for the time being and not ready to think about other thing. He wishes me all the best for my study. He said he want to take a break for a time being until I work in near future.

However, for me it is finished already. No more second time. Tidak mahu pisang berbuah 2 kali. Enough my lesson with Shah before this. I really looking forward to moving on. Just like what I did with mr.Beautiful You. I might cried several times, but maybe it is my thereputic ways to heal myself. I do love him and always will be.

I will forgive him sometimes in the future but not now. Not yet. This is just one of my life lesson. I do BELIEVE that Allah s.w.t have something better for me. There is always a silver light on every gray cloud...I will learn to appreciate things more...Insyaallah..

Perak dan Kedah

Last week, I spend the weekend utk hadirkan diri ke majlis pernikahan dan persandingan abang sepupu aku yang 1st sekali to get married among our cousins. Mmg jauh kowt..tapi aku tak tido sepanjang perjalanan tersebut sbb rasa terlalu excited nak jalan jauh...

This is my 3rd time berjalan2 di Perak, I knew that the view is superb in terms of scenery of bukit bukau dia. Sibuk dalam kereta bagitau kat family aku yang mesti dulu Perak ni adalah jenis kerajaan Agraria (agriculture punya state) sbb takde pown unsur2 laut kat situh..

Antara picture yang sempat aku tangkap...mmg chantek giler..

With my lil sister dalam bilik penginapan kami...sempat lagi posing before balik. ^^,

My mom, bik anom, nurul, ikin and me sebelum kuar gi breakfast.

Inilah pengantinnya. Selamat Pengantin Baru saya ucapkan kepada Abang Aced dan juga Kak Su...

Dgn family saya bergambar dgn pengantin..ahaks~

Sepupu2 lelaki sebelah ayah. Yang dah dewasa just abang amir n farhan je..yang laen2 masih lagi rendang2.. :P

Conclusion: Agak penat, tapi BEST!

In the class~

Haish...jeles lak dgn kwn2 yang dah complete their presentation. Tapi takpelah, hwaiting! ^^,

Last Saturday night was an epic one...its the first time I face to face with him that way,with no smiling face at all. He told me that I was 'garang'...ahahah~ cian dia. Maybe that time tegas kowt instead of garang..huhu~ I was happy, grateful, estatic, joyful that he does not letting me go that easily. Alhamdulillah... I will try my best to make the full of it..

Today is Monday, therefore rasa cm Monday blues....serious taknak dtg kelas petang nieh...malas tahap yg tertinggi la! Tapi utk pujuk ati nie, aku belilah air 100 plus dan coklat cadbury for myself...ahaks~

It is love at first sight....

Alhamdulillah...tercapai juga hasrat saya untuk memilik jam baru. Setelah sekian lama semenjak 2001 sy tidak membeli jam sedemikian. Actually, this is just one of my dream to have such thing. Tak terfikir pun yg actually akan mendapatnyer...ahaks~ But I'm loving it. Pernah ushar gak sblm nie. Saje je tgk2 kat kedai tuh. Hanya mampu terjengok2 jer..hehehe. Aku ginilah, kalu takde doit boleh intai2 gitu je. Tapi bila dah rasanya cm mampu, barulah boleh tgk dekat2...

Mula2 minat yang jam cap Bonia tuh. Tapi mak uih~ RM600++...mmg tak mampu den...tak mampu...sekadar boleh ngintai je lorh... but aku tetiba ternampak, cing! Shining2 dia memanggil aku...hikhik~ tapi tgk harga...ushar agi...manalah tau boleh dapat yg lagi murah dan yg dapat menambat hati seorg hamba nie...

Ushar2..takde gak... T_T. Fikir dulu, gi beli barang dulu kat Giant tuh. Bila dah time nak balik, singgah ke kedai tersebut balik kali ini dgn hati yang tenang dan nekad utk membeli yg shining2 tadi tuh~ hahahaha....akhirnya jadi gak ko milikku~

Dah lama mengidam jam gini~ Anyway,thanks ayah dan emak.... Muah3x! ^^,

Cuti ag~

Hari Khamis ni cuti lagi...Ahaks~ sukenyer....bkn pe pown,just cuti sbb Thaipusam. Dahlah hari khamis tu suppose kelas aku satu hari tu penuh....mmg heaven giler ar jgn citer.. Skrg tgh kat dalam bilik sorg2,housemate sume ada kelas. huhuhu...lunch dah siap dibeli, tinggal nak makan jer..apelah yang aku carut2kan kat sini..

Pelik la,time dulu phone takde kamera sibuk2 nak ada kamera katanya nak tangkap gambarlah,then upload. Last2 bila dah ada kamera kat phone pemalas giler nak tangkap gambar n upload it. Cis...mcm nie ke nak pakai iPhone? tak payah nak mimpi ler... :P Yela sngt nak jadi photographer...

Tgh nak mengupdate report system aku nieh...bila dah lama tak pegang benda alah ni, makin pening kepala lak aku dibuatnyer...haish...

Khamis ni kan cuti, smlm mr.RR tanya cuti ker~ hehehe...finger crossed for date! yahooooo!

New Post, New Me!

Fuh~naseb baik aku undelete aku punya blog nie,boleh gak aku restore apa2 yang patut,just made some changes on the url. Bkn apa,malas nak mencapub agi...biarlah aku dgn dunia aku je. Lagipuna aku kan lebih elok menyendiri je dari suka menyibuk hal org lain, wat pening kepala den yo...heheheh.

Jap ag ada kelas, jam 3.10 ptg. Akhirnya,dapat gak aku online sendiri2 ikut time aku. Hahahah! Roomate ada bb dia sendiri, so line entirely MINE!!! AHAHAHAH! (dah gilo agaknya....)